While there are some wedding etiquette “rules” that may feel outdated (for example, seating guests on opposite sides at the ceremony, depending on their relationship with the couple), there are some tried-and-true wedding etiquette standards that are still around for very good reasons. The good thing is you have the freedom to pick and choose which traditions are important to you both.
Who pays for the wedding?
Yes, there are the traditional “who pays for what” items but couples nowadays rarely follow these wedding etiquette rules exactly. In fact, half of our couples pay for the majority of their wedding themselves. Parents or other loved ones can contribute in a variety of ways, from paying for the entire wedding to just paying for specific wedding-related products or services to paying for events like the rehearsal dinner to not contributing at all. But here’s the tricky part, remember that anyone who pays for the wedding does get a say in whatever it is they’re paying for. So if your parents are paying for your venue rental fee, you need to make sure they’re happy with the wedding location you choose.
How do I ask my parents/family to contribute to my wedding?
Very politely. Sometimes parents will willingly express their desire to assist with the wedding budget, but you may need to make the first move. Prepare your parents in advance for the conversation (not a topic for Thanksgiving dinner, for example). When asking your parents about this potentially sensitive subject, first ask them if (not how much) they would be able to contribute. If they say say yes, be prepared to discuss how much they would be comfortably be able to spend, or what areas of the wedding they’d like to pay for. It’s a good idea to have some knowledge of what certain wedding-related services cost, so that you can give your parents’ an idea at the initial conversation. Whatever the outcome of the conversation is, be as appreciative and grateful as possible. Once you have a budget established, meet with a wedding planner and determine how to invest your budget so you add value to your wedding and not just dollars.
